Well the spring semester, and my official first semester at VCU are almost over. It’s pretty much exams from here on out, and then two glorious weeks of freedom. I still have to work, but to have my free time to…well…be free of school obligations is enough for me! For heaven’s sake I already know I am going to squander the shit out of it, but the point is that I know it is there, it is on its way, and if I put forth my very best effort I may be able to find a way to capitalize on it. I doubt it though. I am very bad at moving quickly. I’m going to do that whole thing where I savor every single second of it, even if I am standing in line at the grocery store.
So of course like with any ending, I can’t help but recapture the last few months by adding up the columns of successes and failures, and comparing the results.
Ok, so successes.
I had to volunteer at an adult day care center and the main purpose was to implement the communication skills we were supposed to be learning in my “Communication in the Helping Process” class, and then apply them to communicating with “the elderly.” Now I can’t even say “the elderly” without feeling like I am implying some sort of intentional orientation.
I met a lot of people that I felt sorry for and that I was scared of. But I also met a few people that made me feel honored to be working with them, and some people that made me feel special by just being myself…which is deep. There were a few moments that really stood out. There was man named Rom; I was shocked at how young he was. Most of the people there were in their 60’s+, but Rom seemed to be in his 40’s. He could barely talk, but he could completely take care of himself, yet most of the time he just sat there and starred off into space. He was really nice, and his favorite activities were the ones that included music. He wouldn’t participate, but he would tap his toes and give occasional nods of the head. I made an effort to give Rom a big smile and make eye contact every time I saw him. I would touch his shoulder when I asked him questions. During my last day I asked him a question like, “Hey don’t you love this lunch?” He said, “Yeah,” and he smiled. I felt really lucky. There were one or two other stories like this. Like Mirabella, she wanted to dance. She tried to stand up and the staff immediately rushed to her side and told her she had to dance in her seat. When the music activity was over I put on Mirabella’s favorite song, and very sturdily one of the staff members and Mirabella danced across the room, it was amazing. The stuff movies are made of. So success.
I did an interview with a director of public policy for one Planned Parenthood’s affiliates. I went into the experience feeling really important and humble at the same time. Planned Parenthood is an organization that I owe a lot to, and to top it off a segment of “Talk of the Nation” came on while I was driving there. It was about Planned Parenthood’s government funding. This was right before the almost government shut down and the Republicans were asking for as many cuts as possible to the budget. They seemed like they would not settle until the Democrats gave in to all of their demands. Ugh. (So here is my little rant: Look, us regular people suffer and struggle enough in this country just to earn a living, can you please leave social security, Medicare, Medicaid, funding for Planned Parenthood, etc alone?! If you really think we can’t afford it just let the Bush tax cuts expire and cut a little defense for crying out loud! But whatever. Opinions are like assholes, right Dad? Love you by the way.) So what I learned from this woman was that she was fighting to protect women’s access to reproductive healthcare services every day, and not only can I personally thank her for her efforts, but I can appreciate the influence she has, and how many people unknowingly depend on many social workers just like her. It made me feel vindicated in choosing this major. So again, success. I was hoping to get a mentor out of this experience; I still got an amazing interview and glimpse into the real story of the other side of the argument. But I still no mentor, so failure there.
I also haven’t made too much headway in the “getting more attractive” department. Shocking. I knew out of everything this would be my biggest struggle. Nowadays everyone has their own Vietnam, and mine is food. I once heard at a Weight Watchers meeting that “our genes are our tendencies, what we do is our destiny.” Well right now my destiny is to be a slug, a slug that was caught eating a chocolate covered macaroon at her desk today by an attractive person. So without further adieu, big FAILURE there. We’ll see how that measures up.
And now I am sitting here, trying my damndest to study for this final, meanwhile there is a huge wedding celebration going on in the backyard of the Garden Club of Virginia, directly behind my apartment. All the big band wedding classics have been blasting from the mediocre audio equipment for the past 3.5 hours. When I heard the music go down and someone take the microphone to make a speech I had to listen. I frantically ran around my apartment looking for my keys (I have a tendency of locking myself out of places.) I eased out of the back gate to catch an inconspicuous listen to the maid of honor and the best man impart their words of wisdom onto the bride and groom. The MOH went on about God and readings from the Bible while I gave Hasha a threatening eye as she tried to sneak past my blockade of pj pants and a half lit cigarette. Then the best man took the stage, got all of the laughs, and talked about how he had been friends with the groom since they were four years old. Once during college they went hiking, and he came to a realization that one of them would get married one day. My air conditioner kicked on and I couldn’t hear anymore. (It might sound creepy that I am spying on other people’s weddings, don’t worry, it isn’t.)
The best man’s words got me to thinking about epiphanies. Sudden realizations of truth. I took the only step I could think of, and now I’m here waiting for my sudden realization of truth. I wonder where the future will lead me here in Richmond and long after that. Will I be as influential as a director of public policy? Will I wind up like Rom or Mirabella? Will I ever shut off my tv on dvd long enough to get a little hotter and a lot healthier? I’m a professional at avoiding truth, especially if it allows me to be lazy.
I don’t know how the successes and failures are going to measure up, but I do know that a dear friend of mine foolishly let me borrow four straight seasons of Lost. Tv on dvd - a blessing and a curse.
Still trying to “be one of the things that life just won't quit,”
-Rosa
